


Malroth Stop Spamming The Group Chat

by SwaggerDownTheStreet



Category: Dragon Quest Builders (Video Games)
Genre: Builder - Robin, Crack, Crack Treated Semi-Seriously, Dragon Quest Builders 2 Spoilers, Gen, Group chat, chat fic, chatroom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:28:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23606065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwaggerDownTheStreet/pseuds/SwaggerDownTheStreet
Summary: Robin the Builder creates a group chat to keep up with Lulu and all the other special buddies. Unfortunately, but not too surprisingly, this leads to some intense crack.
Comments: 16
Kudos: 21





	1. Castaway Homies

`ROBIN created GROUP CHAT`   
`ROBIN changed the chat name to CASTAWAY HOMIES`   
`ROBIN added LULU and MALROTH`

**Robin:** Hey I made this so we can keep in touch, it's kind of a big island

**Malroth:** Cool

Lets go kill something

**Lulu:** Im hungry

**Malroth:** Go eat seaweed theres plenty of it all over the beach

**Robin:** Malroth dont bully

I seared you a scallywinkle Lulu

**Lulu:** Go to sleep already, you guys are making too much noise

6:53 a.m.

**Lulu:** WAKE UP SOMEONE STOLE MY SCALLYWINKLE

MALROTH GIVE IT BACK

I SAVED THAT SPECIALLY FOR MY BREAKFAST

GIVE IT TO ME

MALROTH

**Malroth:** what te fuck lulu Im tryn t sleep

**Robin:** please do not swear in my good christian group chat

**Lulu:** WELL YOUR AWAKE NOW SO FIND MY SCALLYWINKLE

`MALROTH changed LULU's name to BITCHFACE`

**Robin:** PLEASE DO NOT SWEAR IN MY GOOD CHRISTIAN GROUP CHAT

**bitchface:** HOW CAN YOU REFERENCE MEMES AT A TIME LIKE THIS

THIS IS A CRISIS

I NEED MY FUCKING SCALLYWINKLE

**Robin:** PLEASE DO NOT SWEAR IN M

nvm fuck you I give up

12:37 p.m.

**Robin:** bye Lulu

see you in like a month or something

however long this takes

**bitchface:** bye!!! bring me a souvenir!!!!

**Malroth:** bye

I wont miss you

and I only said bye cuz robin made me

he forced my hand

literally, he grabbed my hand and typed it how could you this is a betrayal

Im never speaking to you again

**Robin:** goddess, malroth why are you so dramatic

`ROBIN changed MALROTH's name to DRAMAQUEEN*`

**DramaQueen*:** why

**Robin:** bc you deserve it

your a bully

we dont accept bullies in this house

1:43 p.m.

**Robin:** Hes talking to me again

he couldnt take the whole boat ride sitting in silence

lmao take that bitch

**DramaQueen*:** shut up bitch

**Robin:** bitch

`DRAMAQUEEN* changed ROBIN's name to THE CHILD`

**the child:** no

**DramaQueen*:** yes

**bitchface:** is this going to last your entire trip bc if so then I think Ill kill myself

**DramaQueen*:** please do

**the child:** mALROTH


	2. The Furrowfield Farming Friends Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

**«Castaway Homies»**  
4:35 p.m.

**the child:** we have arrived

welcome to furrowfield

the land of plants and flowers and pretty green things

**DramaQueen*:** ew what is this shit

`[furrowfieldgrassslime.img]`

this is nasty its like a cow puked literally everywhere

fuck how are we supposed to find green grass here

**the child:** living up to your nickname i see

oh look theres someone on that hill

**DramaQueen*:** Sally Screams-a-Lot

OK FINE GEEZ ROBIN

**the child:** ye thats what i fuckin thought bitch

**bitchface:** as entertaining as this is

i have zero clue whats going on over there

`THE CHILD added ROSIE`  
`DRAMAQUEEN* changed ROSIE's name to SCREAMSALOT`

**ScreamsALot:** wait so this is actually a thing?

we're doing this?

**the child:** yes

**ScreamsALot:** YES!!!!

**the child:** wait but this doesnt work anymore

`THE CHILD changed the chat name to BUILDER BUDDIES`

**the child:** yes perfect

`THE CHILD added BONANZO and PERRY`  
`DRAMAQUEEN* changed BONANZO's name to BEARDY`  
`DRAMAQUEEN* changed PERRY's name to WIMPY`

**the child:** malroth what have we said about bullies

**DramaQueen*:** shut up bitch

**bitchface:** i still dont know what the hell is going on

who tf are these people

**ScreamsALot:** I'm Rosie

I'm a farmer

from furrowfield

WERE GONNA GROW A FARM

YES WE ARE

Perry say hello

**wimpy:** hello

**ScreamsALot:** Bonanzo say hello

**beardy:** greetings

**bitchface:** and youre all farmers?

**ScreamsALot:** affirmative

**bitchface:** sweet

11:11 a.m.

**the child:** good afternoon people

everybody make a wish

**DramaQueen*:** I wish Lulu would disappear before we get back

**the child:** MALROTH

NO

BULLES

WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

LIKE THREE HUNDRED TIMES

anyway it doesnt work if you tell anyone

**DramaQueen*:** damn

**bitchface:** why are you such a fucking asshole

**DramaQueen*:** because youre a petty bitch

`BITCHFACE changed DRAMAQUEEN*'s name to ASSHOLE`

**ASSHOLE:** fuck you

**bitchface:** fuck yourself

**ScreamsALot:** what even is this

im so confused

**wimpy:** hate to break it up but wes having a problem

namely the pastor is here

pastor al or whatever

**the child:** fuck

11:58 a.m.

**bitchface:** hey

what happened

HEY

are you guys alive???

I cant build Lulutopia alone you know

**ASSHOLE:** Empire of Evisceration*

**bitchface:** great

the ONE person I could stand dying

damn

**ScreamsALot:** thats mean

**bitchface:** hes mean

`THE CHILD added ALAKAZAM`  
`ALAKAZAM changed the chat name to THE CRIMINAL GANG`

**the child:** ...........

...I know it probably wasnt meant to be.......

but thats rad

**ASSHOLE:** u rite

**beardy:** I think we should continue our farming project, my fine friends

**ASSHOLE:** ye whatever shut up

7:47 p.m.

**the child:** So

updates

Pastor Al came over here and discovered our farm

he's from the children of hargon

which is who kidnapped us btw

anyway, he found us growing some big,,,, thing. plant. which is apparently called a deitree and is magical with magical powers and used to keep Furrowfield all blessed and pretty and stuff

so were regrowing it

**bitchface:** wait wait wait stop

you said this al guy is from the CoH?

**Alakazam:** Indeed I am.

**bitchface:** so why is he helping you build the farm

**Alakazam:** Solely for research purposes.

**bitchface:** .....I see

well you guys have fun, Im going to sleep

8:34 a.m.

**bitchface:** hey

the ugly hammer guy just explained some stuff

he says this island

lulutopia

**ASSHOLE:** Empire of Evisceration*

**bitchface:** shut up

anyway apparently it used to be quote "a builders paradise" with trres and snow and oases and all this other type of shit

so hurry up with your stupid farm so we can make my island beautiful

**ASSHOLE:** my island*

**the child:** the hairy hermit literally gifted it to me in front of you but whatever

11:59 a.m.

**the child:** ok so we managed to grow the deitree the first mile

whats next al

**Alakazam:** We must grow the five different types of crop that grow on Furrowfield

**the child:** oh that shouldn't be too hard

12:32 p.m.

**the child:** hey mal were going to the swamp

**ASSHOLE:** k

time to fucking kill a bitch

**the child:** `[malroth-annihilating-a-big-purple-slug-monster.img]`

NOT IN MY SWAMP

**ScreamsALot:** what

**Alakazam:** have you found the sugarcane seedlings?

and the pot

**ASSHOLE:** ye

but the bitch at your place wants to do a trade

hold on this shoukdnt take long

1:53 p.m.

**the child:** YEAH SUGARCANE DOWN

NOW JUST TOMATOES AND PUMPKINS MORE TO GO

this should be quick hold on

**ASSHOLE:** oh look theres an orc

should I kill him

**the chid:** no

**ASSHOLE:** damn

5:46 p.m.

**the child:** ha we got the tomatoes

just in time for supper

wait

`THE CHILD added WRIGLEY, SAFFRON, and LILLIAN`  
`ASSHOLE changed WRIGLEY's name to WORM FOOD`  
`ASSHOLE changed SAFFRON's name to THE MAID`  
`ASSHOLE changed LILLIAN's name to THE ADULT`

**the child:** what

**ASSHOLE:** fuck you

**the child:** MALROTH THERE ARE INNOCENT EARS IN THIS CHAT

KEEP IT RATED PG

**ASSHOLE:** IM not rated pg

I thought you knew that 

but whatever

anyway

`ASSHOLE changed ALAKAZAM's name to I JEST`

**beardy:** I propose a toast a toast to Furrowfield Farm and its wonderful mayor!

**ASSHOLE:** wait what mayor

**beardy:** Me, of course!

**ASSHOLE:** you arent the mayor

**beardy:** What? Of course I am!

**the child:** youre not the mayor

**beardy:** ...but...

**I jest:** You are not the mayor.

**beardy:** ...damn.

9:27 a.m.

**the child:** WAKEY WAKEY BITCHES

WE SLEPT TOO LONG ALREADY

MALROTH LETS GO GET THOSE PUMPKINS

**ASSHOLE:** fck yu im stil slepin

**the child:** LETS GO!!!!!

**ASSHOLE:** aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**the child:** I literally heard that wtf mal

**worm food:** I heard that and I dont even have any ears

**bitchface:** .....im..... pretty sure i heard that and im a whole ocean away

you scream like a girl

**ASSHOLE:** shut up

1:16 p.m.

**the child:** fuck ye we got the pumpkins my guys

the deitree will be complete soon

4:21 p.m.

**ScreamsALot:** WE DID IT!!!

WE GREENIFIED THE FARM AND REBUILT EVERYTHING FROM ALMOST NOTHING!!!

WE GREW THE DEITREE BACK AGAIN AND AND AND

I THINK IM GONNA SOB

**the child:** `[the_fully_grown_deitree.img]`

take that you Hargonotic bitches

fuck yeah

5:12 p.m.

**the child:** shit CoH is here

**I jest:** I shall talk to the brainy badboon. I can make him see sense

**bitchface:** DONT YOU FUCKING DARE

THEYLL KILL YOU AND I WANNA MEET YOU IN PERSON

**ASSHOLE:** I second that

**the child:** same

**the adult:** same

**wimpy:** same

**ScreamsALot:** same

**I jest:** ...fine

**ScreamsALot:** AAAAA NOT FINE HE VAPORIZED THE DEITREE

MALROTH DO SOMETHING

ROBIN

PASTOR AL

NO WE WORKED SO HARD FOR THAT!!!!!!!!!!!! TTOTT

**I jest:** We must rebuild the deitree

**the child:** lets do it

**ASSHOLE:** Ima kill a fucking bitch

**the child:** not yet malroth

deitree first

then you can kill the bitch

**ASSHOLE:** fine

**bitchface:** no sleep first or youll pass out

and eat

eat is good too

**ASSHOLE:** I dont take orders from you

**the child:** malroth

**ASSHOLE:** whatever

7:00 a.m.

**ASSHOLE:** 7 on the dot wakey wakey bitches we have a job to do

**the child:** fuck yeah my bitches let us fucking do this shit

12:56 p.m.

**ASSHOLE:** hey can I kill him now

**the child:** sure

**ASSHOLE:** FUCK YEAH

3:24 p.m.

**ScreamsALot:** we did it... we actually did it

no more CoH on Furrowfield, the deitree is back, THERES GREEN GRASS AND FLOWERS LITERALLY EEEEEEVERYWHERE

YESSS

CELEBRATION TIME MY FUCKING BITCHES

**wimpy:** YEAHHHHHH

**worm food:** YEE HAW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my feet and neck and literally everything else is killing me cuz I spent all day doing yardwork and I just want to fucking die
> 
> uh happy easter ig


	3. Green Gardens and Malroth's Impulsive Idiocy

**«The Criminal Gang»**  
1:23 p.m.

**bitchface:** theres not very many of you, is there...

**ASSHOLE:** living up to your nickname I see

**the child:** hold up we forgot someone

`THE CHILD added CLAYTON`

**the child:** sorry clayton :P

`ASSHOLE changed CLAYTON's name to HARGONAUT`

**the child:** really mal

**hargonaut:** why

**bitchface:** living up to YOUR nickname i see

**ASSHOLE:** fuck you

**bitchface:** fuck yourself

`THE CHILD added THE HAIRY HERMIT`

**The Hairy Hermit:** Welcome to the isle isle isle of awakening newnewnewcomers!

**ASSHOLE:** please tell me you can at least text normally or i might have to kick you

**The Hairy Hermit:** yes

**ASSHOLE:** thank fuck

if i had to read that every time you said anything i think my eyes wohld bleed

oh and

`ASSHOLE changed THE HAIRY HERMIT 's name to HOHOHO!`

**hohoho!:** i approve of this new change

**the child:** hermit approves

**the adult:** lol new meme

**the child:** fuck how do you know what a meme is

**the adult:** CoH

apparently "destruction in meme form is the ultimate form of destruction" or something

**ASSHOLE:** what like

a burn?

**i jest:** yes

**the child:** ............

well they're not wrong ig

 **ScreamsALot:** AAAAAAnyway

lets make a giant forest and a river and a farm and stuff i really wanna build something

**the maid:** make sure lillian isnt being too demanding

**the adult:** im more of an adult than you

even malroth thinks so

**ASSHOLE:** i mean i do but also you dont speak for me

**worm food:** ROBIN YALL GOT SUMMAT FOR ME TO MAKE INTO GREENSSSS

**the child:** ye

8:32 p.m.

**bitchface:** yall get your asses in bed

**ASSHOLE:** i dont take orders from you bitch

**bitchface:** thats cuz your an asshole fuckface

`BITCHFACE changed ASSHOLE's name to FUCKFACE`

**FUCKFACE:** why do you always give me insulting nicknames 

i am the nickname god not you 

also the meme god 

not you 

**bitchface:** so FIRST of all 

yes 

you are the meme god 

because I am the meme GODDESS 

and also 

you gave insulting nicknames to fifty percent of this entire chat 

**FUCKFACE:** UNTRUE 

I AM INSULTED THAT YOU WOULD THINK OF ME IN SUCH A WAY 

**wimpy:** ahem 

**FUCKFACE:** perry 

ill kill you 

**wimpy:** I DINT DO NOTHING 

I JUST COUGHED 

**FUCKFACE:** THERE WAS MEANING BEHIND THAT COUGH AND IM NOT STUPID ENOUGH TO NOT SEE IT 

**bitchface:** debatable 

**FUCKFACE:** bITCH 

**the child:** just go to sleep you motherfucking bitches 

4:21 a.m.

**FUCKFACE:** so 

`[sheer-drop-off-the-top-of-the-chert-mountain.img]`

yay or nay should i jump 

**the child:** the fuck why are you even awake 

**FUCKFACE:** fuck you thats why 

yay or nay 

i say yay 

**the child:** no 

just 

no 

go to sleep 

**bitchface:** i say yay 

**the child:** LULU STOP 

DONT ENCOURAGE HIM 

**FUCKFACE:** 2 yays 1 nay 

im staying here until everybody votes 

and i mean EVERYBODY 

speaking of 

`FUCKFACE added JACKAL`  
`FUCKFACE changed JACKAL's name to PUPPYDOG`

**FUCKFACE:** hey jackal yay or nay 

**PUPPYDOG:** what the fuck 

nay 

**FUCKFACE:** your a bitch 

**PUPPYDOG:** and you smell like a hobgoblin 

**the child:** what the actual fuck 

**wimpy:** nay

**FUCKFACE:** fuck you why does everyone feel the need to ruin my fun

**beardy:** Because you are the only thing keeping us all from a violent death.

Nay.

**FUCKFACE:** thats kind of a selfish reason to keep me from burning all this energy

**ScreamsALot:** nay

**i jest:** yay

**FUCKFACE:** FUCK YEAH :D

3 yays 5 nays come on vote yay motherfuckers

**hargonaut:** yay

**FUCKFACE:** :D

**the maid:** !!!!!!!!!!

nay!

**FUCKFACE:** D:

**the adult:** do it C:<

**the maid:** Lillian!!!!!

**the adult:** :)

**FUCKFACE:** :)

5 yays 6 nays come on guys were almost there!

**hohoho!:** nay this is bad for your mental health

**FUCKFACE:** >:(

**the child:** alright mal we all voted the results are nay

**FUCKFACE:** FUCK YOU

`FUCKFACE added GHOST`  
`FUCKFACE changed GHOST's name to BOO`

**FUCKFACE:** YAY OR NAY SHOULD I JUMP

**the child:** MALROTH ITS NAY ANYWAY FUCKING STOP

**BOO:** nay!

**FUCKFACE:** D:<

why???

**BOO:** because I like yoou

**FUCKFACE:** WELL WTH AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY TO THAT????

**the child:** go to sleep

**FUCKFACE:** sleep is for the weak

**the child:** MALROTH WE HAVE TO LEAVE TO ANOTHER ISLAND TOMORROW

GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

**FUCKFACE:** `( ··· )`

**the child:** goodnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this `( ··· )` is to show when someone starts typing but then deletes it I couldn't think of a better way


	4. Khrumbul-Dunces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn this chapters p long
> 
> probably bc khrumbuldun is by far my favorite island and im not afraid to admit that
> 
> so
> 
> on w the show ig

**»The Criminal Gang«**  
8:23 a.m.

**the child:** ok malroth wakey wakey

**FUCKFACE:** i was tryn slep bich

**the child:** thats why you dont hold a vote on your suicide attempt at three in the morning

anyway we needa get our asses over to whichever island it is that brownbeard charted this time

**FUCKFACE:** it no suiside if u won actuly die

**the child:** ill just ignore that coment

k get ur ass down to the dock lets go

**FUCKFACE:** fuck you

**bitchface:** oh are you leaving?

thank fuck i was getting sick of this bitch

**the child:** lulu we talked about this

**bitchface:** (¬-¬ )

**the child:** malroth where tf are you

**ScreamsALot:** hes probably doing something impulsive

**bitchface:** thats because hes a bitch

**the child:** oh nvm hes here

**FUCKFACE:** as if you wake me up at this fucking hour to make me go on this fucking ship

fuck you

**hohoho!:** and what might this new island be?

**the child:** brownbeard says its called khrumbul-dun

supposedly we can find metal ores there

like a surplus

but given what happened with furrowfield, im not sure thats true

**ScreamsALot:** :(

actually nvm ur right furrowfield sucked when u guys got there

**wimpy:** true

**the child:** ight we out

**bitchface:** yes we can see

**wimpy:** BONN VOIAHJ

**FUCKFACE:** thats not how thats spelled...

**bitchface:** and you KNOW you messed up when malroth knows something you dont

**FUCKFACE:** -_-

how do you flip someone off through text

**bitchface:** `( ··· )`

fuck that

**FUCKFACE:** fuck it urself you coward

**bitchface:** ,,,,,,,,,,-_-,,,,,,,,,,,,

how do you go from "muckiness doesnt matter ill wipe it with a rag" to that

**FUCKFACE:** im not answering that

**the child:** as entertaining as this might be, im not dealing w this for the entire boat ride

**FUCKFACE:** fuck yodhacAz@

**the adult:** f in the chat for malroth cuz hes probably dead

**PUPPYDOG:** f

**i jest:** f

**wimpy:** f

**beardy:** f

**hargonaut:** f

**hohoho!:** f

**the maid:** f

12:47 p.m.

**the child:** WE HAVE ARRIVED

`[khrumbul-dun.img]`

**bitchface:** how is it

it looks like a lot of sand

and rocks

how lovely

**the child:** yeah well fuck you its great here

very warm

perfect vacation 10/10

`HARGONAUT added BRITNEY`

**Britney:** so

Rosie just informed me that i was missing out on this

yall are disappointing

**bitchface:** oh lol i was wondering why you never say anything in this chat

**Britney:** Ò^Ó

**wormfood:** SORRY BRITNEY

**PUPPYDOG:** f in the chat for britneys pride

**wimpy:** f

**ScreamsALot:** f

**i jest:** f

**hargonaut:** f

**Britney:** wait whos PUPPYDOG

**wimpy:** jackal

**Britney:** what

**PUPPYDOG:** fuck you

**bitchface:** idea

what if britney guesses who has which nickname

**Britney:** lol ok

do i get any hints

**bitchface:** yeah malroth named most of us

**Britney:** oh

thats actually weirdly helpful

ok sooooo wimpy is perry

**wimpy:** ...............

yes

**Britney:** hah knew it

beardy is def bonanzo

**bitchface:** lol yeah

**Britney:** bitchface is lulu

**bitchface:** not sure whether i should be offended that you got that right

**Britney:** nah thats just what im getting from the way you and malroth attack each other

um so

hargonaut isssss clayton? right?

**hargonaut:** yes

**Britney:** fuck yeah

the maid is saffron

**the maid:** :)

**Britney:** cool

hohoho! is the hairy hermit

**hohoho!:** correct!

**Britney:** i jest is al

**i jest:** Indeed

**Britney:** wormfood is wrigley

**wormfood:** yea

**Britney:** boo is the ghost

**BOO:** yes

**Britney:** so who do we have left

robin malroth rosie lillian

um who else

**bitchface:** i think thats it

**Britney:** ok

thennnnn is lillian the child?

**bitchface:** lol nope

**Britney:** D:

ok well then

FUCKFACE is malroth

right?

**bitchface:** ye

**Britney:** ok

is rosie the child?

**wimpy:** hah

nope

**Britney:** what??????

oh

its robin right?

RIGHT????

**bitchface:** yeah

**Britney:** oh good

then lillian is the adult and rosie is ScreamsALot

**bitchface:** DINGDINGDING YOU ARE CORRECT!!!!!!!!!!!

**Britney:** :D

**the child:** so

so bitches

we

it seems we have fallen

into a mother

fucking

hole

`[the-hole.img]`

**bitchface:** *deeeeeeep sigh*

you are really dumb do you know that

i hope you know that

**the child:** yea i know that

**bitchface:** good

**the child:** oh well wud ya lukit thaat

**ScreamsALot:** ?

**the child:** some lady just pulled us out of the hole :D

`THE CHILD added BABS`  
`FUCKFACE changed BABS's name to COWGIRL`

**the child:** malroth

why

**FUCKFACE:** fuck you thats why

**ScreamsALot:** :O !!!!!!!!!

MALROTH

IS

NOT DEAD!!!!!!!!

:O

**wimpy:** :O

**wormfood:** :O

**the adult:** :O

**bitchface:** damn

**the child:** LULU

WHAT HAVE I FUCKING TOLD YOU ABOUT BULLIES

**FUCKFACE:** hah this town is even worse off than furrowfield

at least furrowfield was trying to do something

**cowgirl:** excuse me

**FUCKFACE:** ok fair

but bonanzo and perry were actually doing something too

these guys are just sitting and crying

like the bitches they clearly are

**cowgirl:** fair

**bitchface:** malroth is not a fair person

why would you even imply something like that

**cowgirl:** i mean

\\_( ·_· )_/

7:23 p.m.

**the child:** so

so first of all

`THE CHILD added DEN, MAGROG, DIGBY, and 2 other(s)`

**the child:** and second of all

we had to follow somebody's crying noises

and then we found a golem

`[goldirox-in-his-rock-hole.img]`

stone golem

his name is goldirox and apparently if we help him get his power back then he can bring the Golden Age back or smt

**bitchface:** ok but can he bring swords and shit to Lulutopia

**FUCKFACE:** Empire of Evisceration*

**bitchface:** fuck off

**the child:** guys i thought we were all aware that its my island and were not calling it either of those

**FUCKFACE:** whatever

lulus still a bitch

**bitchface:** and your still a fuck

**the child:** both of you are shits

anyway we have to go down a bigass hole tomorrow and im not doing that without the proper amount of sleep

**ScreamsALot:** goodnight! :)

**hohoho!:** sleep tight!

**bitchface:** let the bedbugs C O N S U M E you

**the child:** and on that note-

6:30 a.m.

**the child:** k malroth wake up nows ur chance to eat before we go down the big hole

MALROTH

HELLO

W A K E Y W A K E Y ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

**FUCKFACE:** BIG MASTAKEY!!!!!!!!!

**the child:** SHIT

**FUCKFACE:** YEAH YOU BETTER FUCKING RUN BITCH

**cowgirl:** lol mastakey

**FUCKFACE:** F U C K O F F

**cowgirl:** btw the service down there is terrible so you probly wont be able to chat on here

**bitchface:** GOOD IM TRYN FUCKIN SLEEEP

**FUCKFACE:** haha fuck you

**the adult:** c h i c k e n

**the child:** what

**the adult:** `[chicken-cocking-head-at-the-camera.img]`

C H I C K E N

**the child:** GASPP

C H I C K E N

**FUCKFACE:** get your ass down the tunnel

**the child:** fuck you

**cowgirl:** aaaaaand there they go

**bitchface:** good now i can fucking SLEEP

**Goldirox:** it not polite to swear in front of children

**bitchface:** who are you and why do you make such incorrect assumptions about lillian

**cowgirl:** `[goldirox-in-his-rock-hole.img]`

remember the golem?

**bitchface:** oh yeah

so i have things need doing bye

**PUPPYDOG:** such as....

**bitchface:** for your information these bitches and sons of bitches need supervising

except rosie rosies great

**ScreamsALot:** :D

**bitchface:** yea so anyway bye

**cowgirl:** uh ok then

2:00 p.m.

**the child:** YO WE FOUND IT BITCHES

THE COPPER

FUCK YEA

**bitchface:** aaaaaaaand theyre back

**the child:** GOLDIROX WE CAN DO IT NOW

YEET

**Goldirox:** thank you

me look silly though

**FUCKFACE:** i mean

`[goldirox-copper-head.img]`

`FUCKFACE changed GOLDIROX 's name to COPPERTOPPER`

**the child:** mal thats mean

**bitchface:** hes mean in general youd think youd be used to it by now

**FUCKFACE:** yeet

**bitchface:** see he doesnt even deny it

**the child:** cool well i have a bar to build so

**bitchface:** you should take malroths phone again

hey

robin

robin do it

do it i dare you

i triple dog dare you

ugh ur lame

7:32 p.m.

**the child:** `[copper-bar-is-complete.img]`

yeet

**bitchface:** whats the betting malroth is up all night drinking

**the child:** none bc den has to sleep and hes the only one running the bar

`MALROTH changed DEN 's name to BARKEEP`

**the child:** well i mean at least its not rude this time

now get off ur phone

**FUCKFACE:** fuck you

9:23 a.m.

**the child:** `[malroth-annihilating-a-scorpion.img]`

YEET THE FUCKER!!!!

**FUCKFACE:** FUCKER: YEETED

**the child:** YEET

**bitchface:** you guys are so fucking dumb

**the child:** JOIN US WE WILL TEACH YOU THE WAYS OF THE IDIOTICY

**bitchface:** yeah i dont think so

**FUCKFACE:** DO IT.

**bitchface:** no

**the child:** one of us oNE OF US ONE OF US

**bitchface:** n O

**FUCKFACE:** ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US!!!!!!1!!1

**the child:** ONE OF US

**cowgirl:** fuck theyre gone

**ScreamsALot:** what the fuck

7:35 p.m.

**the child:** HAHA COPPER GOLEM

`[goldirox-full-copper.img]`

**bitchface:** cool keep going

**FUCKFACE:** ha well this doesnt work any more

`FUCKFACE changed COPPERTOPPER 's name to ANDROID`

**FUCKFACE:** haha better

**Android:** thank you robin very much

**the child:** ye dude

so anyway its relax time

3:23 p.m.

**the child:** bitches we found the silver :D

`[first-silver-vein.img]`

`[second-silver-vein.img]`

`[third-and-final-silver.img]`

also the beginnings of the silver bar

`[first-few-silver-bar-blocks.img]`

haha we makin progress my dudes

**bitchface:** cool

what about CoH

**the child:** i mean they attack regularly, like back in furrowfield

and the madusa be shakin

but otherwise we fine 

i mea so far

**bitchface:** cool

7:32 p.m.

**the child:** damn thats a lot of silver haha

damn bar makin progress

3:21 p.m.

**the child:** damn this is more work than i thought 

**FUCKFACE:** im so sick of dirt 

**the child:** same lets go pick a fight with someone 

**FUCKFACE:** grand idea 

**ScreamsALot:** you guys are really reckless and stupid 

**the child:** ye we know 

oh look 

`[orange-trex-dragon-with-a-battleaxe.img]`

haha yeet motherfucker 

**FUCKFACE:** bitch its time to die 

**the child:** fucker: annihilated 

`[coop-de-grâce-on-the-fucker-dragon.img]`

**cowgirl:** how did you get that pic 

**the child:** ,,,,,,,,,, 

i dont have to answer that 

7:37 p.m.

**the child:** haha yeet silver golem bitchfucks 

`[silver-goldirox.img]`

**cowgirl:** what kind of a word is bitchfuck 

**the child:** its an awesome one ill have you know 

**Android:** thank you robin. me is almost full power. just gold left 

**Magrog:** "just gold" he says 

`FUCKFACE changed MAGROG 's name to BITCHY SMITHY`

**the child:** malroth can you be nice literally one time 

like

just literaly O N C E

**FUCKFACE:** lol nope

`FUCKFACE added SURGE`  
`FUCKFACE aded ORDELIA`  
`FUCKFACE added JULES`  
`FUCKFACE changed SURGE 's name to PERV`  
`FUCKFACE changed ORDELIA 's name to CAVELADY`  
`FUCKFACE changed JULES 's name to ZOOSH`

**the child:** wow

just

wow i literally cant even

ur so

like srsly damn

`FUCKFACE changed DIGBY 's name to EEK MONSTER`  
`FUCKFACE changed DOUGIE's name to EEK CLAUSTY`

**the child:** -_-

**bitchface:** robin: ur really rude u know that

malroth: but WAIT theres MORE!!!1!!

**the child:** k but its bedtime now

7:20 a.m.

**the child:** malroth

malroth

hey malroth i have the best idea

hey

malroth

buddy

ol pal o mine

**FUCKFACE:** WHAT U FUCK

**the child:** what if

we go into

the HAUNTED TEMPLE

how bout it dude

**FUCKFACE:** fuck yeah that place is fun

5:32 p.m.

**the child:** BITCHES WE FOUND THE FUCKING GOLD

HAHA LOL

**eek monsters:** WHAT

**eek clausty:** LEMME SEE

**FUCKFACE:** i mean its shiny

sparkly

and stuff

**eek monsters:** BUT LEMME SEE

**the child:** haha yeet

`[gold-vein-sparklesparkle.img]`

**eek clausty:** dhwixCHfiAkafsfAka

**bitchy smithy:** CfgsBdyofvshFsgkdgwgygel

**eek monsters:** FkjahlgdjfmgjcfkaC+82'",jkoCcfiakYgd

**barkeep:** DJDBWIDBDLSKWFDUXBXSKAKDNDJSKSNFO

**the child:** shite i think we broke them

12:34 p.m.

**the child:** malroth im bored what do we do

**FUCKFACE:** ?

why arent you building the silver bar

**the child:** i have to wait for the gold to cook and it cooks so sloowlyyyyyyyyy ugh

**FUCKFACE:** then kill it

**the child:** malroth that doesnt always work tho

**FUCKFACE:** ten times out of fifty it does tho

**the child:** but thats 20% only tho

**FUCKFACE:** better than 0 to

**the child:** bro

7:36 p.m.

**the child:** GOLD GOLEM

`[gold-goldirox.img]`

YEET

HAHA WE DID IT YEET

**Android:** THANK YOU ROBIN YOU HELP GET POWER BACK

NOW ONLY HAVE TO DEFEAT MADUSA

**the child:** ight!

11:34 a.m.

**FUCKFACE:** see this is what happens when you give this dope a task

`[robin-devouring-a-mushroomstick.img]`

he doesnt eat and then i have to remind him

and he never eats unless hes starving

hes an idiot and its unhealthy

babs help me restrain this idiot

**cowgirl:** haha

youre on your own

**FUCKFACE:** damn ok

5:32 p.m.

**the child:** COMPLETION

`[complete-silver-bar.img]`

haha yEETT!!!!!!1!!

**Android:** NOW BABS DANCE

**eek monsters:** YES DANCE

**eek clausty:** PLEASE

**perv:** I BEG OF YOU

**ZOOSH:** ThAT sOunDS BoNa

**cowgirl:** haha ok

12:32 a.m.

**the child:** oh shit

`[stone-babs.img]`

well

thats

well ok then

**bitchface:** the fuck

**ScreamsALot:** oh no! D:

**i jest:** Can you save her?

**the child:** i mean

i hope so

**FUCKFACE:** when can i yeet the madusa

**the child:** soon we must build the gold bar first tho

3:45 p.m.

**FUCKFACE:** the fuckerseer has been yeeted

**the child:** goldirox can you save babs

**Android:** YES. BUT WILL DISAPPEAR

**the child:** what

**Android:** BECOME PART OF GOLD BAR

**the child:** oh

well

oh ok

but

like can you still text

**Android:** YES

7:23 a.m.

**cowgirl:** cant belive bitches just built the bar without me 

pathetic 

disgusting 

anyway lets go i wanna see the IoA and stuff 

**the child:** come along then yeeters 


End file.
